For women, men used to be easily pegged into two categories: the ones who were open to settling down and the ones who weren?t. A new hybrid breed of boyfriend is on the rise, however: guys who prefer long-term relationships but still need an escape hatch out of them. They?re devoted partners?some even serial monogamists?though they?re terrified of becoming fianc?s or husbands. In other words, they?re relationship ready?yet still restless.
?These men are constantly struggling to balance two competing needs: one for safety and security, the other for excitement and the unknown,? says clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD, author of If Men Could Talk. ?By having a serious, long-term relationship that lacks total commitment, they think they?re getting the best of both worlds.?
Pinoys are prone to sowing their seeds during singlehood. According to a local Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study, 58 percent of married men admitted that they?ve had premarital sex, while 37 percent confessed that they?ve gone to bed with women apart from their wives-to-be. Of course, commitment-shy guys are nothing new. But those dudes of the past sacrificed solid connections for their freedom.
This new restless man wants to have his cake and eat it, too: a monogamous bond with the back door left slightly ajar. Cosmo explores some of the factors that contribute to that fidgety state of mind, and what you can do if you?re dating one of these guys.
Continue reading on the next page.
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