YOUR FAMILY MATTERS FROM THE DIARY OF PASTOR CHANDA
WEDNESDAY, May 15, 2013: After a prayer meeting at church, I sat at a meal with parents and grandparents, listening in to their conversations. It was an interesting time because I was afforded a rare opportunity to realise that parenting never comes to an end.
The first ones to complain about the work of parenting were a couple that had very small children. I think the oldest was about 10 years old while the youngest was a baby. They talked about the work of changing nappies and being kept awake at night.
They also spoke about the need to guess what the problem with the crying baby was because the baby could not speak for itself. Then there was the attention seeking and petty jealousies, and the need to constantly keep an eye because of their vulnerability to danger.
The parents of the older ones said to them, ?Enjoy your children while they are still young. Those problems are nothing. Serious parenting only begins when your kids become teenagers. You will wish you could take them back to being babies again!?
These parents said that the chief problem with parenting teenagers is that they think they know better than their parents. They listen more to their friends than to their parents, until things blow up in their faces. Then they come to the parents to clean up the mess.
Then there is the fact that they want to be treated as adults when it comes to privileges, but they want to be treated like children when it comes to responsibilities. They do not understand themselves but neither do the parents understand them. Adolescence is tough.
The parents of the teenagers said, ?We cannot wait for these guys to get into their twenties so that they can stabilise. The ever-changing hormones are driving all of us mad. Often our home is full of flying tempers. Were we also like this when we were teenagers??
An even older couple laughed when they heard these parents wishing their kids could reach their quickly. They said to them, ?Don?t talk like that. We thought problems would end after our kids entered their twenties. Alas, that was when they really began!?
These parents spoke of the difficulties their children who were going through their? had with finding life partners and entering the job market. They spoke of their son who was always falling in love with girls who would shortly after break his heart.
?Our home was often a scene of tears. Some were crying because no one wanted to marry them. Others were crying because they were sitting with too many proposals at the same time. Others were crying because they had been ditched by a lover,? they said.
They went on to say that they thought once their sons and daughters were married, then their problems would end. After all, they would have been handed over to their spouses on their wedding days. They were mistaken. Problems simply changed colour.
I laughed when they said, ?Our children who are not yet married are often crying because they want to get into marriage, while those who are married often come home crying about their marital problems and wishing they had not rushed into marriage.?
There was a couple that sat quietly listening to all this. I noticed that they would often look at each other and smile as the conversation went on. They were the oldest couple at the dinner. When they finally spoke, they sealed the conversation wonderfully.
They said, ?Life is a full circle. Our children have gone through all these stages you are talking about. They are now in stable marriages and are raising their own kids. One wishes we could say parenting is now over for us. It is not. We are now parenting parents!?
They spoke of the times when they have had to wait on their daughters when they are about to give birth. Also, their children call them or bring their grandchildren to their home so that they can help with all the issues they once handled as parents. Parenting never ends!
For comments or confidential counsel, write to: reverendchanda@yahoo.com. Or send SMS to 0974250084
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Source: http://www.daily-mail.co.zm/parenting-never-ends/
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